A TRUE Story
RE: The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
In Universe 21390666…446339784*
*(give or take)
Welcome to a Universe both familiar and surreal, where “WMD” takes on whole new meanings, the best defense against ancient conspiracies bent on world domination is the incompetence of the people running them and the “secret Muslim” is the last person you’d ever suspect.
Sindy Cathaway is awakened in the middle of the night and informed by her best friend and co-worker Emily that the government’s coming to spirit her away because one of her regular customers, CIA agent Robbie “Bigs” Johnson, blabbed classified information to her the other night when he came in drunk to the club where she’s been stripping her way through college. Sindy finds herself saved/possibly kidnapped by the Earthbound Region-Independent Society, of which Emily is a member, and on the run from the government, which ERIS claims is run by a nefarious cabal who will stop at nothing to silence Sindy before she can make public the secret their agent told her. Problem is, Sindy has no idea what part of Bigs’ drunken diatribe was supposed to be a state secret in the first place.
Meanwhile, DHS agent Todd Moody’s secretive source, Gold Standard (a.k.a. Ron Paul), sends him to track down Bigs in Topeka, Kansas. While Todd thinks he’s about to uncover the truth regarding an extraterrestrial armada, he may just be a pawn in Gold Standard’s plot to fulfill Ayn Sedai’s prophecy of the Dollar Reborn. Likewise, journalist Jack Smith and ex-IDF soldier/disbarred lawyer Megan Livingstone, who have been living on the sidelines of two Middle Eastern wars for the past decade, may find the quest for spiritual enlightenment the Great Confusus sent them on isn’t what they expected–that, or “enlightenment” isn’t what Jack thought it would be.
This is a novel I’ll be releasing for free on the internet. The final version will be composed of five parts. Part One is complete (for now; future revisions/replacements of a few images are likely). Part Two is next, and what’s posted so far is still in the working-draft stage. The chapter titles listed below may end up being temporary. Parts Three through Five will come thereafter.
Part One:
With No Power Comes
No Responsibility
This Won’t End Well
The System At Work
Hail ERIS
What Happens When You Forget To Lie
The Great Confusus
New Age Sherlock Holmes
Lies My Preacher Told Me
Bigs Gets Saved
A Series of Coincidences
Megan Livingstone and the Temple of Dumb
The Flight in the Ford
The Council of Overseers
Part Two:
IF THERE WERE NO TRUTH
WE WOULD HAVE TO CREATE IT
AJ and the Aliens
Philosophy in the Hotel Room
Of Paganism and Patriarchy
Persons In Need of Suppressing
The Palin and Honest Truth
Welcome To The Party™
The Legend of Zion
Free Personality Test
The Savior With A Thousand Faces
The Northern Passage
I Was A Scientology Sex Slave
The Truth Is In There
An Uncivil Union
